Here's good news for inmates everywhere. Crying will get you out of jail.
Just ask Paris Hilton. According to TMZ, Hilton was released from jail today after serving only three - count 'em - three days in the clink. The hotel heiress/socialite had reportedly been crying constantly and unable to sleep. As of yesterday, her lawyer and a shrink had been her only reported visitors.
No official confirmation yet but the site reports that the deal was sealed yesterday and Paris, who had originally been sentenced to serve 45 days, which were then hacked down to 23, got out of jail early this morning. And just in time! One more day and her spray tan would have faded, her manicure might have chipped, her extensions might get tangled or she could have broken her teeth on the bars, which Sarah Silverman was concerned about on Sunday night's MTV Movie Awards.
Thank God the authorities allowed this fragile flower to go home to her 100% Egyptian cotton sheets. Justice has been served, the media had a field day and I know Paris has learned an important lesson from this experience, which is "I really am better than everyone else and I do deserve special treatment."
And crying works! Who knew?
UPDATE: Paris has been reassigned to "Home Arrest" for 40 days. Yeah, that'll work. Sound more like "House Party" to me. And she'll probably make ankle bracelets a must-have fashion trend.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
