Don't call it the 2006 Hollywood Foreign Press Installment Luncheon. Call it "Hipvah," as Dustin Hoffman suggested.
In truth, the annual HFPA luncheon was more like an Afternoon at the Improv.
Hostess Felicity Huffman got the laughs going from the get-go Thursday when she stepped up to the podium after being introduced by HFPA President Philip Berk.
“Okay, I’m supposed to ad lib now,” said the elegantly attired Golden Globe winning ("Transamerica") actress. “Not gonna happen.” Then she started reading the slowly scrolling tele-prompter, “For many years….” before she (gulp) realized she was reading Berk’s speech, not hers. “Oh, I’m supposed to step aside now,” she exclaimed,looking slightly horrified.
“Oh, I’m gonna be fired,” she whimpered as she backed up and backed up and bumped into a giant Golden Globe statue, very nearly knocking it over. She bowed her head in shame and covered her eyes.
The hysterical move was so perfectly timed that many in the audience - including those spitting out their salad with laughter - thought she’d rehearsed it. So did Dustin Hoffman, who tried to recreate her brilliant slapstick back-up when he got onstage but couldn’t pull it off with Huffman's “I Love Lucy” aplomb.
“I salute you. I’d give anything to work with you. You are my kinda girl,” Hoffman said to the still blushing Huffman.
Hoffman, who accepted a $30 grand check for the Los Angeles Conservancy, was nostalgic about the Rodeo Ballroom in the Beverly Hills Hotel because it was where his daughter’s Bat Mitzvah was held many years ago. “Now I know we're running a little late today and there is another Bat Mitzvah at 2, so I’ll try to hurry up.”
But he got the biggest laugh for his renaming of the HFPA to a more Jewish-sounding name, pronouncing it “Hipvah.”
Another comic standing was the legendary Jack Nicholson, there to accept a $300,000 check for Martin Scorsese’s Film Foundation.
“When I was asked to accept a check, something I’m very comfortable doing, no one told me I would also have to make a speech, something I’m not very comfortable doing,” slow-mo growled Nicholson, who then read a prepared speech, making it sound like an outtake from “Five Easy Pieces.” He ended by saying the $1.8 million the HFPA has given to the FF over the years “makes up for a lot of rubber chicken dinners.”
All I can says is Nicholson really does do a spot-on Jack Nicholson impersonation. I mean, Jay Mohr does a better Christopher Walken than Walken but no one can hold a candle to Nicholson’s Nicholson.
Others accepting checks: Diane Lane, Annette Bening, Christina Ricci, Bill Condon, Lisa Kudrow, Mark Ruffalo, Edward James Olmos and James Franco. They all did fine, were dressed appropriately and acted very respectful reading their prepared speeches and accepting checks that totaled over $1 million in support for organizations such as Film Aid International, Outfest, California State Summer School Arts Foundation, Inner-City Arts, American Cinematheque, Sundance, Institute, IFP West and Inner-City Filmmakers.
But next time I hope they loosen up a little. Take a tip from Felicity, Dustin and Jack. A little less decorum, a little more Hipvah and lot more slapstick, please.
Photo Credits:
Don't be fooled by Felicity Huffman's red carpet manners at the Hipvah Luncheon. She's capable of doing physical comedy, even when she hasn't rehearsed it.
WireImage/Steve Granitz
C'mon, Jack. Do Jack Nicholson for us! Man, are you good at that or what? Hey, can you do it for my cell phone voice mail when you're done at the Hipvah Luncheon?
WireImage/Steve Granitz
