Styles & Scenes

"Desperate" love too flipping hot?

If you’re a fervent fan of the 2006 Emmy-snubbed “Desperate Housewives,” you’re about to be robbed. Again.

According to James Denton (Mike the plumber), ABC got cold tootsies about an upcoming steamy sex scene between him and Nicollette Sheridan.

“Nicollette is so darn sexy that they have to spend hours digitalizing out her sexiness,” Denton told the Hollywood Style Awards audience before he presented the Hollywood Siren Award to his DH co-star.

“I just found out in post that our scene, I think it airs next week so set your Tivos, was just too sexy.” Denton explained. “I asked them why they had to cut. I mean, we didn’t do anything that crazy. They said, ‘Well, she flipped her hair and the look on her face was just too hot.”

“Aww, ABC! C’mon! That’s so stupid!," Sheridan shouted from her seat. Hopping up onstage to accept the  award, the small screen siren joked, "My publicist said to be brief. So thanks for having such good taste.”

Photo Credits: If we can't see the uncut hair-flipping love scene, here's a shot of Nic getting cuddly with a baby tiger at the  2006 Safari Brunch Fundraiser for the Wildlife Waystation at the Playboy Mansion. Be careful how you toss that hair, Nic. You might drive those big cats wild.
Greg DeGuire/WireImage

Felicity's slapstick lightens up the "Hipvah" luncheon

Don't call it the 2006 Hollywood Foreign Press Installment Luncheon. Call it "Hipvah," as Dustin Hoffman suggested.

In truth, the annual HFPA luncheon was more like an Afternoon at the Improv.

Hostess Felicity Huffman got the laughs going from the get-go Thursday when she stepped up to the podium after being introduced by HFPA President Philip Berk.

“Okay, I’m supposed to ad lib now,” said the elegantly attired Golden Globe winning ("Transamerica") actress. “Not gonna happen.” Then she started reading the slowly scrolling tele-prompter, “For many years….” before she (gulp) realized she was reading Berk’s speech, not hers. “Oh, I’m supposed to step aside now,” she exclaimed,looking slightly horrified.

“Oh, I’m gonna be fired,” she whimpered as she backed up and backed up and bumped into a giant Golden Globe statue, very nearly knocking it over. She bowed her head in shame and covered her eyes.

The hysterical move was so perfectly timed that many in the audience - including those spitting out their salad with laughter - thought she’d rehearsed it. So did Dustin Hoffman, who tried to recreate her brilliant slapstick back-up when he got onstage but couldn’t pull it off with Huffman's “I Love Lucy” aplomb.

“I salute you. I’d give anything to work with you. You are my kinda girl,” Hoffman said to the still blushing Huffman.

Hoffman, who accepted a $30 grand check for the Los Angeles Conservancy, was nostalgic about the Rodeo Ballroom in the Beverly Hills Hotel because it was where his daughter’s Bat Mitzvah was held many years ago. “Now I know we're running a little late today and there is another Bat Mitzvah at 2, so I’ll try to hurry up.”

But he got the biggest laugh for his renaming of the HFPA to a more Jewish-sounding name, pronouncing it “Hipvah.”

Another comic standing was the legendary Jack Nicholson, there to accept a $300,000 check for Martin Scorsese’s Film Foundation.

“When I was asked to accept a check, something I’m very comfortable doing, no one told me I would also have to make a speech, something I’m not very comfortable doing,” slow-mo growled Nicholson, who then read a prepared speech, making it sound like an outtake from “Five Easy Pieces.” He ended by saying the $1.8 million the HFPA has given to the FF over the years “makes up for a lot of rubber chicken dinners.”

All I can says is Nicholson really does do a spot-on Jack Nicholson impersonation. I mean, Jay Mohr does a better Christopher Walken than Walken but no one can hold a candle to Nicholson’s Nicholson.

Others accepting checks: Diane Lane, Annette Bening, Christina Ricci, Bill Condon, Lisa Kudrow, Mark Ruffalo, Edward James Olmos and James Franco. They all did fine, were dressed appropriately and acted very respectful  reading their prepared speeches and accepting checks that totaled over $1 million in support for organizations such as Film Aid International, Outfest, California State Summer School Arts Foundation, Inner-City Arts, American Cinematheque, Sundance, Institute, IFP West and Inner-City Filmmakers.

But next time I hope they loosen up a little. Take a tip from Felicity, Dustin and Jack.  A little less decorum, a little more Hipvah and lot more slapstick, please.

Photo Credits:
Don't be fooled by Felicity Huffman's red carpet manners at the Hipvah Luncheon. She's capable of doing physical comedy, even when she hasn't rehearsed it.
WireImage/Steve Granitz
C'mon, Jack. Do Jack Nicholson for us! Man, are you good at that or what? Hey, can you do it for my cell phone voice mail when you're done at the Hipvah Luncheon?
WireImage/Steve Granitz 

"Desperate" Cherry picks PJs and spills secrets

What will “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry wear on Emmy night? Probably pajamas.

Cherry won’t be attending the show. 

“I didn't get invited,” Cherry said at the ABC All Star Party for the Television Critics Association held at Kidspace in Pasadena Wednesday night.

So will anyone from the show go? “I would assume that Felicity will go to present an award because it’s a tradition for the previous winner to present that award. But I don’t know for sure. I haven’t asked the girls if they’re going."

Word is they're not. But obviously, Alfre Woodard - nominated for Supporting Actress - will go.

“Alfre called to thank me for the flowers I sent and I asked her, 'So how many nominations is this for you? Four, five?' And she said, 'Seventeen.' So apparently every time she reads the phone book on TV, she gets nominated," Cherry said. "She is, and deservedly so, beloved by the Academy and a very talented actress. She’s also one of the loveliest human beings you will ever meet.”

Frankly, Cherry is relieved to stay home on August 27.

“I was very honored to be nominated last year but to sit there and lose twice with my mom sitting next to me was excruciating. Then you go to the parties and everyone comes up to you and says, 'You were robbed!' so I was like, 'This is the most annoying evening of my life.' I will be so happy to sit at home and watch other writers go through that.”

But isn’t he bothered about not being nominated?

“Am I a little bummed out? Sure. But my reaction to this is that I have to work harder this year and that’s what we’ve been doing. Listen, I went through a period of being unemployed, broke and having to borrow money from my mother. In terms of awful things happening to me, not getting nominated is pretty easy to handle.”

He was more surprised by other snubs. “To me, the shocker was "Lost." I thought that was odd to the point of 'what the heck is going on with the Academy?' For us, we’ll just work harder. It’s more important for me to feel like I’m doing the best job I can and I don’t think I did that last year. I’ve had my trial by fire. Actually, I feel like I’ve had two. The first year was the extreme phenomena of it all and last year was 'let me try some new things.' Some of those things aren’t working. So this new season, I feel for the first time, now I know what it is I need to do in order to do the show the way I want to do it.”

So what’s going to happen on Wisteria Lane in the new season? Cherry let some secrets slip...

Photo Credits: DH creator Marc Cherry was happy to get dressed up for the GLAAD awards on April 8, 2006. But he's gonna stick to PJs on Emmy night.
WireImage/Steve Granitz

Will the Housewives snub the Emmy Awards?

Fashion insiders are buzzing about the number of major Emmy acting nominations for “Desperate Housewives” this season. That would be one: Alfre Woodard for Supporting Actress in a Comedy.

DH did get some technical Emmy nods: Single Camera Editing for a Comedy Series, Hairstyling, Costumes. And Shirley Knight got a Guest Actress on a Comedy Series acting nomination for her portrayal of Phyllis Van De Kamp, Bree’s mother-in-law.

But nothing, zip, nada for the five hard-working actresses who made the show - which won 15 Emmys last season - what it is; a critical success, a global cultural phenomenon and a cash cow for the network: Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria, Marcia Cross and Nicollette Sheridan.

Some loose TV lips have speculated that, despite the astonishing and inexplicable snub, the Wisteria Lane gals would still come to the Emmys, if just to support the series. They’d probably be presenters or something, some duty that would require them to be there so it’s not that obvious that they, ooops, all got seriously snubbed.

But a source close to the wives says no dice. “None of them are going.” Not even as presenters? “Felicity may go as a presenter because she won the lead actress Emmy last year and they usually have last year's winner present this year's award.”

That’s right. She beat her DH co-stars Teri and Marcia. Gosh, what a great catfight that was.

“But the rest of them are definitely not going,” sez the source.  “If you’re not nominated, you really don’t have a reason to go. It’s a lot of prep work to get in shape, all made up, pick gowns and dressed up to go to these things. It’s exhausting. And if you’re not up for an award and it’s just going to be embarrassing why go?”

Why go? Because if you don’t go, you risk looking like a sore not-nominated loser, that's why. That would be one very big reason. My advice: slap on the makeup, slip on the gowns and smile for the cameras, girls.

C'mon, you're all good actresses. Just act like you couldn't care less about being nominated for one night.

Photo Credits: C'mon, girls. Play nice. Eva Longoria, Nicollette Sheridan and Felicity Huffman faux tussle over Flicka's Emmy statue backstage at last year's show. But will they stay home and watch it on TV this year?
WireImage/Jeff Vespa

Emmy throws the fashion world a curve

Megan Mullally, Cheryl Hines, Alfre Woodard, Candice Bergen, Chandra Wilson,  Ellen Burstyn, Cloris Leachman,  Kathy Bates, Judy Davis, Helen Mirren, Annette Benning, Francis Conroy and Stockard Channing.

All incredibly talented actresses and all richly deserving of every accolade and acting award they’ve ever received and/or been nominated for, including the Emmy nods they all received last week.

But to the fashion world, which views the Emmys solely as a marketing tool and a means of getting their expensive gowns, shoes, accessories and jewels shown on millions of TV screens, websites, magazines and newspapers, this lineup of ladies is a full-fledged fashion disaster. 

“Good Grief! Did they only nominate over-40 women who are size 10 and up?” moaned one seasoned fashion insider after hearing the nominees list.

But not to worry. LA stylists and fashion insiders are already doing ritual dances, burning sandalwood incense and making offerings to the Style Gods. Many are hoping, nay, praying, that the networks will make sure that their Emmy snubbed, sorry, not-nominated hotties  - like the super chic “Desperate Housewives” and the “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Lost” hotties - will still attend the show and walk the red carpet, if only to show their support for their nominated co-stars.

“The networks will make sure those girls are presenters,” predicted one LA liason between designers and star’s stylists. So we may yet see Eva, Felicity, Teri and Nicollette at the show. What a relief!

Susan Ashbrook, head of Film Fashion, who represents houses such as Chopard, Pamella Roland, J Mendel and Escada, has a glass half-full philosophy towards next month’s Emmy Awards.

“We’ve had all the skinny girls, Nicole, Keira, Lindsay. Clothes always look great on them but it will be nice to have an Emmy show with curves. I think it’s going to be an amazing show with some gorgeous women with great personal style.”

Ashbrook adds: “Mariska Hargitay just had a baby so it’s a chance for her to show off her figure again. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a fantastic body and looks amazing in everything. So does Jane Kaczmarek and Allison Janney. Jaime Pressly will probably do couture and she also has a great figure. Everyone’s going to want to dress Mariska and Kyra Sedgwick. I know that Tyra Banks was just in Paris getting fitted for a couture gown by Georges Chakra so she’s definitely going.“

So don’t fret, fashion fans. The August 27th Emmy awards will still go on. And it will still have a great red carpet runway to show off all those great clothes, gems, shoes and purses that no mere mortal woman can afford.

Photo Credits: Kyra Sedgwick - nominated for her role on "The Closer" wows 'em at the Tony Awards and she'll do the same at the Emmys. Every designer from Karl Lagerfeld to Giorgio Armani will be trying to dress this little lady.
WireImage/Kevin Mazur

Young Hollywood turns out for T-Mobile

Well, now we know.

Here's why Eva Longoria, from the award-winning show "Desperate Housewives," was in such a mad rush to get her hair done Tuesday evening at Jordan's Enchanted Cottage in West Hollywood.

She was headed straight to the T-Mobile Sidekick 3 party held later that night at the Hollywood Palladium.

The place was packed with the usual celeb suspects such as the Backstreet Boys, LA club empresario Brent Bolthouse, Donovan Leitch, Serena Williams, Jaime King, Rachel Bilson, "Crash" director Paul Haggis, Taryn Manning, Amanda Bynes, Haylie and Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson, Mischa Barton with beau Cisco Adler, whew, and those still  battling ex-BFs Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton.   

And in case you were wondering, yes, all the attending celebs got a free Sidekick 3 for their time and trouble. 

Richie was spotted inside flailing her pipe cleaner arms while dancing with Mario Lopez. With her new long blonde hair extensions, she really does look like a Paris Hilton clone. But she's getting so darn emaciated that we're gonna start calling her Auschwitz Hilton.

Meanwhile, Paris has cleverly figured out a way to really stand out at parties. Bring brunette friends! She spent most of the night posing and partying with her new bookend brunette sidekicks, Caroline D'Amore and Kim Kardashian.

Photo Credits: Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria put their perfectly coiffed heads together to figure out the new T-Mobile Sidekick 3. Good luck, girls.
WireImage/Gregg DeGuire

Photo Credits: Whoa, watch where you wave those buggy whips, little lady. You could poke someone's eye out! Nicole Richie shows off her moves with Mario Lopez at the T-Mobile Sidekick 3 bash.
WireImage/Chris Weeks
 

Jennifer Lopez gets miniaturized at the WIF awards

Producer Lauren Schuler Donner had a few words of wisdom for the gals at Women In Film's 2006 Cyrstal and Lucy Awards. Don't be bitter!

“Carrie Fisher once told me that resentment is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Darn good advice. Not sure who gave the producer ("Constantine," "Bulworth," "Free Willy," "You've Got Mail") the slapstick notion to knock her glass award off the podium, but it was definitely a high point of the evening. "Superman Returns" producer/director Bryan Singer picked up the shattered pieces and Schuler Donner's very human nervousness got empathetic chuckles.

Other winners – song writer Diane Warren, cinematographer Maryse Alberti, Oscar-winning actress Geena Davis, Maria Bello and Jennifer Lopez – also won Crystals and Lucys for the “endurance and excellence" of their work in film and television.

Past Crystal winners include Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Bette Davis, Jane Fonda, Jodi Foster.

So...Jennifer Lopez?  Okay, there’s “Out of Sight,” Blood and Wine,” maybe even “Anaconda.”

But then there's “Monster-in-Law,” "Gigli" and (shudder) “Jersey Girl?”

Still, as hostess Edie Falco noted, “She's the only woman in the room who can open a movie and a concert tour.”

Contrary to the baby rumors (which she laughed off), Lopez didn’t look preggers with a long wavy ponytail and a black Max Mara frock, mingling in the Century Plaza ballroom with “Desperate Housewives” Felicity Huffman and Marcia Cross, Camryn Manheim, Angela Basset, Jean Smart (“24”), and Leah Remini.

Not only did Jenny NOT look like she had a fetus-on-board, she looked surprisingly slender. But that may have been because she wasn't always glued to the side of her skeletal hubby Marc Anthony.

Next to 6-footer Geena Davis, La Lopez looked - how can we put this - positively petite.

Photo Credits: It's all about perspective. Jennifer Lopez looks itty-bitty when paired with Tower of Power Geena Davis at the 2006 WIF Lucy and Crystal Awards.
WireImage/Lester Cohen

A Jeannie in Felicity's family tree?

It may be time to check the branches on "Desperate Housewives" star Felicity Huffman’s family tree.

There could be a genie hiding in there.

“Transamerica” writer-director Duncan Tucker recently bumped into Barbara Eden, the star of the hit '60s sitcom “I Dream of Jeannie,” at a Los Angeles restaurant.

“I am so thrilled to meet you,” Tucker told the actress. “I just wanted to introduce myself and to thank you for all the joy and light you’ve brought to my life and to all our lives.”

Eden thanked him and after a few minutes told him she was dying to meet his Oscar-nominated “Transamerica” leading lady. She explained that not only is she a fan, but her real name is Barbara Jean Huffman and she thought it possible that they might actually be related.

So Tucker happily took Eden over to the other side of the restaurant to meet Huffman. And guess what? The actresses both have family in Indiana, where Eden’s dad is from.

Gosh, maybe they're long-lost cousins. After all, TV sitcom success does seem to run in the family.

Photo: Talk about wish fulfillment. Duncan Tucker dances with his very own genie, Felicity Huffman, at the November 2005 AFI Fest "Transamerica" screening.
(Steve Granitz / WireImage)

Donatella versus Dolly at the Oscars

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Donatella Versace plans to attend the Oscars on March 5. According to the fashion bible WWD, the Italian designer will head to Los Angeles via New York where she’ll check in on her newly reopened Fifth Avenue Versace boutique.

What will she wear? Duh. Let’s see, starts with a V….

But what will happen if diva Donatella comes face-to-face with her doppleganger — super-unpretentious all-American country music superstar Dolly Parton — nominated for best song and also attending the Oscars and hitting some after-parties?

Won’t this cause some kind of rip in the fabric of the universe, like on a "Star Trek" rerun?

With the end of the world just weeks away, here's a distracting tidbit: Donatella is a big fan of the award-winning “Desperate Housewives” series and she even gets DVDs of the show sent to her in Milan. Her favorite character? Like you had to ask.

"I love Bree because she is so perfect that she is almost ridiculous,” she told WWD.

Like we used to say in fifth grade, takes one to know one.

Photo: Versace addict Jennifer Lopez and Donatella Versace at the recent reopening of her New York boutique.
(Jemal Countess / WireImage)

Smile, don't scowl for the Oscar cameras

Did anyone else notice something really bizarre on last night’s episode of the award-winning ABC show, “Desperate Housewives”?

Bree (Marcia Cross) was sitting at the table talking with her daughter about those strange neighbors when suddenly, quite without warning, her forehead…moved.

I’m not making this up. Cross’s forehead actually crinkled ever-so-slightly with what can only be described as slight surprise, followed by mild annoyance.

Good Lord, what’s next? A full-on furrowed brow scowl?

Concerned, I immediately called top L.A. dermatologist Joshua Wieder at UCLA. No, Marcia Cross is not his patient. In fact, he’s never even met the woman and he has no idea what, if anything, she uses on her skin to keep that calm, inscrutable look. But he knows Botox and he has an opinion on what I described.

“Botox wears off gradually and expressions, caused by muscles that become active again, do slowly return,” said Wieder. “Most of my patients need it done every five or six months but some women can only go three or four months.”

Wieder and other top L.A. skin docs are starting to use a new form of muscle paralyzer called Myobloc for patients who become resistant to Botox. Yes, I know, it's a terrifying thought. Soon there will be fund-raisers for these poor unfortunates.

Myobloc doesn’t last as long as Botox and it costs a few dollars more. Stings more too, Wieder says. But apparently, it’s really great for touch ups when one’s regular Botox has started to wear off and it's too early to get more injected.

“It’s a different strain of the botulism toxin, Type B, not Type A, so there is no cross-reaction. I use it on patients for a quick touch up when their regular Botox is wearing off slightly but isn’t completely gone,” Wieder explains. “Especially right before the Oscars.”

Nominees, take note. God forbid those reaction-shot cameras in the Kodak Theatre should catch a sour expression when the Oscar envelope is opened and the winner’s name — not yours — is read.

Photo: Marcia Cross was all smiles when she won an award for best ensemble cast in a TV comedy at the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
(Jeffrey Mayer / WireImage)