There may be as big an appetite for a good book about luxury as there is for luxury goods.

Dana Thomas, author of the fascinating new book "Deluxe: How Luxury Lost its Luster," found out last night at her book party at the Chateau Marmont that her just-published first effort is already No. 15 on the New York Times bestseller list.

To help her celebrate: L.A. fashionistas such as vintage king Cameron (Decades) Silver, Los Angeles Times Image writers Rose Apodaca and Monica Corcoran, Genlux editor Merle Ginsberg, stylist George Blodwell, infamous Web wonk Mickey Kaus (Slate, kausfiles.com) and Vanity Fair columnist and still-hot-on-the-Phil-Spector-case writer Dominick Dunne. 

Will L.A.'s label lovers will be influenced by the rave-reviewed and scathing investigation of the luxury industry? Thomas, Newsweek's Paris-based arts and culture correspondent, is certainly convincing in her indictment of the luxury biz.

She spent three years trekking to off-site production in India, knock-off factories in China, the French fragrance fields of Grasse, outlet malls in Palm Springs and doomed textile factories in Lake Como, Italy. She picked the brains of countless luxury label leaders, including Miucci Prada, Chanel's Karl Lagerfeld, Tom Ford and LVMH Chairman and Chief Executive Bernard Arnault.

Bottom line? We're being duped. In most cases, luxury customers are no longer getting what they're paying for. Not only has luxury lost its luster, but the insanely profitable illegal fake-luxe market is causing untold pain and suffering to women and young children forced to slave in knock-off factories.

After going on a surprise police raid of a Chinese knock-off factory filled with children, Thomas was told about an assembly plant in Thailand where the child workers -- younger than 10 -- had their legs broken and their lower legs tied to their thighs so the bones wouldn't mend. The investigator told Thomas that the owners did it because "the children said they wanted to go outside and play."

Then there's the suspected money pipeline to international terrorist groups. Luxury at what price indeed? Something to think about for the women who buy and sell fake designer handbags at "Purse Parties."   

But don't blame the likes of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for our modern label lust. They didn't start it.

With her soccer star hubby David Beckham sidelined for six whole weeks, will Victoria Beckham have to bring home the bacon?

Maybe, according to People.com. Posh is already earning moola with a cameo (which means no smiles, folks) as a celebrity bridesmaid on an episode of "Ugly Betty" this season. She's also launched her fragrance line and her fashion line and will start her Spice Girls reunion world tour in December. Refresh my memory, did these Spice Racks ever even have a hit song?

Meanwhile, are the Galaxy folks starting to realize that they bought a lemon?  And will Victoria be happy with a house husband? David may have to kick off his rumored Hollywood movie career, which -- some snipe -- is why he accepted the L.A. Galaxy gig anyway. Hey, I bet they paid big-time moving expenses.

Don't keep reading unless you want to remember when Victoria wasn't such a fashion icon...

Photo credit: Does anyone want to see these Spicettes sing and dance again?
WireImage

Will daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres get behind Hillary Clinton, who may become the first viable female candidate for U.S. president? Find out when the former first lady and current Democratic senator from New York appears Sept. 4 on the season premiere of Ellen's show. Maybe Ellen should also get the name of Hillary's tailor? Those boxy jackets hide a multitude of sins.

Photo credit: Ellen and Hillary take to the streets after the taping of DeGeneres' talk show in New York.
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We all knew this was coming. Kevin Federline is K-Fed Up. He wants primary custody of his kids. And the L.A .County Department of Children and Family Services is investigating his legal camp's allegations against his ex-wife Britney Spears for failure to properly care for their two children.

According to TMZ, several people close to Spears, including a former nanny, manager, bodyguard and a sober companion are -- or are about to be -- subpoenaed in the investigation.

Perhaps if Kevin got more custody -- and maybe more money to care for his sons -- he could do a bang-up job at brushing their teeth, fixing their food and getting them to bed on time. Why, with more of Brit's money, he could afford to hire people to do all that and more.

As for Britney's ability to care for her baby boys, we may never know the truth. But it does appear that she has trouble dressing herself, getting herself to bed at a decent hour and even brushing her own hair. Or maybe shaving one's head and wearing a wig is simply a time-saving maneuver.

That said, Britney's new fifth studio-produced album will be out in November. And last night her single "Gimme More," was leaked on TMZ and Perezhilton.com and officially released on New York radio station Z-100. The dance track begins with Miss Brit bravado.

And turns out all that time she recently spent with Las Vegas magic man Criss Angel may really have been about a collaboration. The New York Daily News reports that Britney may disappear several times during the MTV  Video Music Awards on Sept 9. thanks to Angel's illusionist talents.

Hey, maybe he can make K-Fed disappear too.

Photo credits: FilmMagic

There's nothing wrong with giving your kitty a little hit of catnip now and again. But are Pete Doherty's cats really on crack? Someone please tell me this isn't true...

Photo credit: Kate Moss with her wacked-out musician boyfriend and possible cat inebriator, back in the day. Put down that pipe and step away from the cat, Mr. Doherty!
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Way to go, Karl!

Not only did Keira Knightley wear a frothy pink Chanel couture number on the red carpet today at the Venice Film Festival premiere of her Oscar Bait movie, "Atonement" -- she was also wearing a second Chanel, a sleek nautical navy and white gown, for her arrival by boat earlier in the day.

Does this mean that Herr Lagerfeld has snagged some prime Oscar fashion real estate? Are we talking moola and contracts? Remember, Karl lined up "Babel" star Rinko Kikuchi early on last year and she wore his designs throughout the 2006 awards season, all the way to the Oscar red carpet.

Plus, I hear that Hollywood superstylist Rachel Zoe, who seems to have recovered quite nicely -- thanks for asking -- after her abrupt disinvolvement from Nicole Richie, is now dressing the lovely Keira.

Expect to see great things from this fashionable trio in the upcoming Oscar season. Just don't expect Keira to gain any weight.   

Photo credit: WireImage

Karl Lagerfeld is officially ahead of the Oscar fashion pack!

Herr Karl scored a possible Oscar nominee placement for Chanel by dressing Keira Knightley in one of his Fall/Winter '08 couture gowns for her appearance today at the Venice Film Festival. Her new film, "Atonement," also starring James McAvoy, opened the fest.

It's worth noting that the strapless pink chiffon dress had been altered slightly: The runway version had long sparkly sleeves that turned into fingerless gloves, a sparkly helmet-hood and a white fur shoulder wrap. It looks way better the way Keira wore it. 

Also expected to be modeling designer gowns during the fest: Charlize Theron (Dior, perhaps?), Cate Blanchett (Maybe Armani?) and Angelina Jolie (I'm betting vintage). If she makes it out of Iraq safely, that is. And without adopting another orphan or two while she's there.

Can't you just hear her 'splaining that to Brad: "Honey, it was either Shiite or Sunni. It was too hard to decide, so I just took 'em both."

Photo credit: WireImage

Now that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are kaput, are Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil the new millennium's Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen? Fielder-Civil's parents seem to think so.

Here's what the worried parents told BBC Radio this week: “We're concerned that if one of them dies, the other will die. They're a very close couple and if one dies through substance abuse, the other will commit suicide.”

Remember that classic punk song "Love Kills?" Check out these photos of how powerful Amy and Blake's love is. If you're not familiar with the tragic love story of legendary Sex Pistols singer Sid and his groupie girlfriend, click here. Then Netflix Alex Cox's punk-classic film, "Sid and Nancy." 

Other than watching Gary Oldman as Sid in a screaming rendition of "My Way," the best part of the movie is glimpsing a young pre-scalpeled Courtney Love as an extra in a scene in a diner.

Photos: WireImage

"High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens almost had to be dragged out of the Celebrity Retreat on Sunday night, mere minutes before the Teen Choice award show went live.

Was she nervous about getting an award? Being onstage with her boyfriend Zach Efron? Nyah. She was really busy shopping and getting well-gifted in the Tiger Electronics-sponsored swag suite.

Wearing a sweet bohemian-chic gown and rocking her new extensions, Vanessa was totally psyched about getting a new pink CHI hair flat iron. She already had the CHI iron in black and blue. And she loved seeing her face on the Mattel Games’ High School Musical edition Uno cards, saying: “You know you’ve made it big when you’re an Uno card!” But she was squealed with delight when she overheard her song played on a nearby foot-tapping iDog: "'That's me! That's me!"

Vanessa wasn't the only ecstatic celebrity looter.

Good parties make good neighbors. Wait, make that good fences.

One Sunset Boulevard restaurant looked a bit like a Wisteria Lane block party at last night's celebration of Teri Hatcher's new spokesmodel gig for designers Mark Badgley and James Mischka.

On hand: "Desperate Housewives" favorite handyman James Denton, a hotter-than-ever Felicity Huffman, Andrea Bowen and new cast member Dana Delaney (she plays an old friend of Susan's who no one else likes much), as well as Daisy Fuentes, Constance Marie and Brittany Snow. And the designers, natch.

But no sign of Teri's "DH" neighbors Eva Longoria, Marcia Cross or Nicollette Sheridan. Were they working, taking care of babies, washing their hair or jealous much?

Photo credits: WireImage

It was virtually impossible to avoid talking about Lindsay Lohan, who has a closet full of old Teen Choice surfboards, at Sunday's fan-based awards show. After all, it was just announced that the rehabbing star will spend only one day in jail for charges surrounding her most recent DUI arrest.

But every young star spouted the same stock anti-Lindsay answer -- much like adorable trained baby seals --  when asked how they planned to avoid ending up in a legal/emotional/physical mess like Lohan's.

Emmy Rossum noted how very difficult it is to grow up in the limelight and how hard it is for some girls to deal with the stress of fame and the demands of a career. She stressed the importance of good friends and family. "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad advised, "The best thing is to use common sense. Don't drink and drive. Surround yourself with good people and a healthy support system. My family is amazing."

"High School Musical" star Monique Coleman and "American Idol" winner Jordin Sparks echoed those sentiments.

HSM's Vanessa Hudgens, winner of the night's Music Breakout Artist award and rumored to be the real-life girlfriend of HSM costar and Teen Choice Male Hottie winner Zac Efron, said she's already coping with Lohan-esque paparazzi hanging outside her home. But she had the most unique -- and succinct -- suggestion: "It's really simple. Just don't do bad things."

Eerily, it sure looked as if all the girls had carefully practiced Lohan's trademark pucker-and-blow red carpet pose. Let's just hope they don't emulate her other habits.

Photos: WireImage

A pink-haired Avril Lavigne was spotted leaving Koi in Hollywood last night. And she wore a hoodie pulled over her head, just like Paris Hilton did when she left the hot new club Opera last night.

Are hoodies the new anti-paparazzi disguise? If so, it's not working. Celebrities are a bit like ostriches. They seem to think that when they wear sunglasses, wigs and hoodies, no one can recognize them.  Here's the best way to foil the paparazzi, people: Just stay home.

The punky singer is in L.A. because she's scheduled to perform at Sunday's Teen Choice Awards at the Universal Amphitheatre, being broadcast live on Fox that night. But here's the fun part. Her good friend (not) Hilary Duff is also booked to sing and co-host.

This means the show -- and the backstage scene -- should be veeery interesting, especially after what happened between the feuding singers at a Maxim party in May. But there's more. Ashlee Simpson will also be at the awards. You might remember that Avril said some not very nice things about poor Ashlee just weeks after that TV lip-synching debacle. Mean Avril! 

Will Hilary and Ashlee gang up on Avril? Will the claws come out onstage or will they wait until they're in the Backstage Creations Celebrity Retreat?  Will the simmering singers kiss and make up or will they fight over the celebrity gift bags and the free CHI hairstyling irons, Tiger Electronics Power Tour Electric Guitars, Guitar Hero '80s retro gear and Hard Candy perfume?

Gosh, this is just like being back in high school. Only with way richer, more attractive people.

To see more drama majors at the upcoming Teen Choice Awards, click here

Photo credit: FilmMagic

While everyone was buzzing Thursday about Lindsay Lohan's legal maneuverings, TMZ reported a real jail break.

A pregnant Nicole Richie served her entire sentence last night while no one was looking. Reports are she was booked into Paris Hilton's Lynwood jail, spent 35 minutes in a cell and was released 82 minutes after she arrived, possibly setting a new all-time record for a legal celebrity jail break.

Let's see how long it takes Lindsay to get loose. Her attorneys have already reported negotiated a one-day jail stint for her.  I'm betting Lindsay can totally beat Nicole's record.

Meanwhile, Paris and Britney Spears are back together. Reports are that they were seen last night hitting Opera, the hot new Hollywood nightspot that will be the site of Entertainment Weekly's upcoming Emmy bash Sept. 16. The gals arrived and left in separate cars.

The good news? Neither Paris nor Britney got behind the wheel. At least some good has come of these nasty run-ins with the law: They've learned to hire drivers.

Photo credits: Nicole trotting to Justin Timberlake's New York concert last week. Britney takes the wheel at the Millennium Dance Academy back in May 2007.
FilmMagic

You gotta love celebrity justice. Lindsay Lohan's peeps struck a deal, according to the Los Angeles Times, and will reportedly serve only one day in jail. One day? ONE day? Boy, that'll teach her! Bet Paris is plenty ticked off.

Photo credit: WireImage

Why did Teri Hatcher walk the "Resurrecting the Champ" red carpet Wednesday night like it was a designer's catwalk?

Because the new Badgley Mischka spokesmodel may have been modeling a Grecian-inspired silver cocktail dress from the designers' Fall/Winter 07 line. She even gave photographers a good rear view. But now comes a report that this dress may be from Iceberg. Never fear, an investigation will be launched!

Reportedly, she ran into Mark Badgley and James Mischka on the "American Idol" carpet back in May and reminded them that she'd worn one of their gowns to the Emmys back in 1995. So they wisely hired her as their new fashion face. Past B&M ad models have included the vampy trampy Sharon Stone and, bizarrely, those trendy little troll dolls Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Turns out this dress is right in step with the Emmy fashion predictions. Fashion insiders say metallics -- gold, bronze, silver -- are gonna be all over the TV awards red carpet. And if this is any indication of what to expect Sept. 16, we're already  getting excited.

Tor even more excitement, check out Teri's Badgley Mischka lingerie ad.

Finally, real actors. It's safe to say that you'll never see Christian Bale or Russell Crowe, the stars of director James Mangold's new epic western, "3:10 to Yuma," making the scene at Les Deux, hanging at the Polaroid Malibu Beach House or wrecking a car on Robertson after a liquid lunch at the Ivy. These guys are serious actors. Watch the video below to see Christian at last night's Westwood premiere talk about why he took the role in "Yuma," where he first met Russell and how he feels about Oscar buzz for his two critically hailed '07 films, "Rescue Dawn" and "Yuma."

Even though he's super serious about his craft, a relaxed Russell joked around on the "Yuma" red carpet last night. Asked what his favorite "Yuma" scene was, he was gently chided by Danielle, his size 0 pretty blonde wife. "I haven't seen the film yet!" she protested. Russell gently cupped his big ol' bear hands over her tiny ears and said, "The scene where I throw Peter Fonda over the cliff." Crowe, who appears with Denzel Washington and Josh Brolin in Ridley Scott's new film, "American Gangster," due out in November, also has two more projects with his "Gladiator" producer/director. He'll star in "Bodies of Lies," based on a novel by David Ignatius, also starring Leonardo DiCaprio, and in "Nottingham," a Robin Hood/Maid Marian/Sheriff of Nottingham love-triangle tale. And yes, he's the sheriff. Find out why Russell loves to work with Ridley -- and see Danielle's cute ear-cupping -- in this video interview.



Photo credits: WireImage

Ali Larter doesn't want to use a professional hairstylist's super powers.  She'll be doing her own hair for the Emmys.

In a press release, the "Heroes" star said: "There's a lot of work that goes into Hollywood hair and I want women to know that it is unrealistic for every day. I am going to go out on a limb by doing my own hair for the Emmys without any stylists. I am going to use Dove hair care products for five days, get my hair in great shape, and I am going to rock the red carpet. I am doing all of this to help women realize the potential of their own hair and feel more confident every day."

Wow. In the Celebrity Endorsement Universe, the girl's got unparalleled super powers. She also palled around with Crest White Strips a few years back. What's next? A self-tanner for the Globes?

Let me go on record against bringing in an army of hairstylists. We've all seen where that can lead. I'd still like to know who's responsible for turning Katherine Heigl's  gorgeous long blonde hair into a stiff lacquered Great Gatsby 'do at the 2006 Emmys.

But Ali, listen to reason. It's the flipping Emmys. It's a big night -- and a long night -- for you! And it's gonna be blisteringly hot on that red carpet, causing hair to fall flat in no time. So at least get a professional blow-dry. Every woman will understand the need for that level of basic hair help.

To see some of Ali's not-so-successful self-done hairdos, keep reading...

Former NSYNCer Joey Fatone will team up with fellow "Dancing With the Stars" alum Lisa Rinna to host TV Guide's live red carpet coverage at the Emmy Awards show Sept. 16.

I dunno. Would you take red carpet fashion critiques from a man who once went out in public dressed like this? Joey makes that other carpet clown, Steven Cojocaru, look sartorially splendiferous. Hopefully, Joey will leave the trend talk to Lisa.

Photo credit: WireImage, 2001 MTV Video Music Awards Show  

Russell Crowe, Christian Bale and Peter Fonda will ride into Westwood tonight for the premiere of "3:10 to Yuma," the new film from "Walk the Line" director James Mangold. The film is based on Elmore Leonard's classic western short story about a notorious, ruthless outlaw named Ben Wade and the dirt-poor, one-legged rancher named Dan Evans who pledges to bring him to justice.

Lenoard's story was published in Dime Western Magazine in 1953 and made into a movie in 1957. Mangold, who was just 17 when he saw it, says, "It startled me because the questions the film asked about morality, courage, honor and family were very sophisticated."   

Both an intense action flick and a classic character drama, "Yuma" is considered the first horse out of the gate, an early contender in the race to the 2008 Oscars. Neither Crowe nor Bale are overly fond of doing press and there's no swanky, schmoozy post-premiere party planned. But I have a feeling they'll be happy to chat on the carpet about this film, one of the best released so far this year.

This is Bale's second great '07 performance; the first is in the Vietnam War era true story of a U.S. prisoner-of-war in "Rescue Dawn." Crowe also has another major role in "American Gangster," due out in November and directed by Ridley Scott, who also directed him in his Oscar-winning role in "Gladiator."

This, as they say in the awards biz, could be both Bale's and Crowe's year. Don't take my word for it. Check out the movie's website by clicking here. As for Fonda, just give the guy a supporting actor Oscar now. Seriously. He's that good as the grizzled bounty hunter Byron McElroy.

Photo credit: Lionsgate

Paris Hilton was at the Polaroid Beach House party this week. And a few of the famous folks from that scene also popped over to Hilton's nearby beach house. Big whoop, right?

But check this out: My style sources say they saw Paris "making out" with HBO star Adrian Grenier, in what sounds like a scene ripped from an "Entourage" script. Maybe they were rehearsing?

Did Adrian not learn anything from his costar's Kevin Connolly's fatal social error -- dating and then getting dumped by Paris' sister, Nicky Hilton?

Also at the Paris party: Greasy Bear Brandon Davis, his Gummi Bear brother, water balloon-boobed brother Jason and hot shot producer Brian Grazer, who reportedly was hitting on every bikini-clad babe who passed by. Would you like to see my "Splash" sequel, my little chickadee?

Grazer is the successful, spiky-haired producer of successful Oscar-nominated films including "A Beautiful Mind," "Apollo 13" and "Splash." He's Ron Howard's producing partner -- for crying out loud --  and was awarded the David O. Selznick Lifetime Achievement Award at 50.

Surely someone of his caliber doesn't need to -- how can I say this delicately -- troll for talent at a Paris Hilton soiree? Now he's on TMZ at the Malibu beach party with his shirt off? Have some dignity, dude!

Brian's soon-to-be ex-wife, novelist Gigi Levangie, must be loving this paparazzi stuff. They were together for 14 years. That's a lot of time and a lot of fodder. Here's hoping her semi-autobiographical "Starter Wife" series starring Emmy-nominated Debra Messing stays on the air forever.

I can't wait to see the dirty laundry, er, "exciting new plot lines"  that will be written into the "Wife" script now that Gigi's Prada gloves can finally come off.

Photo credit: Paris and Adrian? Say it isn't so! WireImage
Photo credit: Gigi and Brian at the "Starter Wife" premiere earlier this year.
WireImage

What does it mean when a celebrity is said to have a "relationship" with a designer?

For starters, it does NOT mean they're dating. Just like that lame excuse "exhaustion," the term "relationship" is PR speak for something entirely different. Loosely translated, it means a mutually beneficial financial arrangement for the contracted wearing of designer clothing to important red carpet events.

Which is probably why double Oscar winner Hilary Swank and double Oscar nominee Djimon Hounsou -- she a former Calvin Klein underwear and fragrance model and he, the new bod for Klein's men's undies ads -- will host the designer's big 25th anniversary party Sept. 5 during the Mercedes Benz New York Fashion Week.

Is Hilary renewing her old "relationship" with Calvin? Or is she still making nice for not wearing Calvin's specially made gown to the Oscars in 2005 and turning up in a navy Guy Laroche instead? Ouch. That's gotta sting.

Buzz is that triple Oscar nominee Julianne Moore and triple Teen Choice nominee Kate Bosworth (hey, they can't all be Oscar bait) will also party with Klein's designer Francisco Costa at a private dinner party Sept. 11 after the Spring 2008 collection is shown. Where? Maybe Ian Schrager's new Gramercy Park Hotel restaurant Wakiya?

Expect many actresses (and their stylists) to shop the New York shows for the latest looks to wear to the Emmys. For those who aren't already aligned with an international couture connection, this is the last chance to snag something hip and cool enough (literally) for the sure-to-be steamy Emmy carpet and the slew of exhausting post parties planned for Sept. 16. 

Who are the hottest designer contenders for the red carpet? Sept. 5:  BCBG, Nicole Miller and L.A.M.B. Sept. 6: Badgley Mischka. Teri Hatcher is a likely front-row face as she now has a "relationship" as their new contracted muse. Showing Sept. 7: Ports 1961, Vera Wang, J. Mendel and Max Azria. Sept. 8-9: Ralph Lauren, Michael Kors, Diane Von Furstenberg, Peter Som and Pamella Roland. Sept. 10: Carolina Herrera (she has a relationship with Renee Zellweger) and Marc Bouwer. Sept. 11, Carmen Marc Valvo, Monique Lhuillier, Calvin, Zac Posen are the big names, with the Donna Karan Collection, Anne Klein, Tommy Hilfiger closing out the week Sept, 12.

Just keep in mind when you see all the photos of TV and film stars sitting politely in the front rows at these shows, it's probably because they already have a "relationship," or they're hoping for a lucrative "relationship" to be formed and inked. It's not really about the clothes. It's about the money.

Photo credits: Hilary Swank wears Calvin Klein to pick up a Golden Globe in 2005 for "Million Dollar Baby."
WireImage

Photo credits: Hilary Swank famously NOT wearing Calvin to win her 2005 Academy Award. Word is Calvin was furious at her last-minute betrayal. Have they mended fences? 
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Photo credits: Hilary, Mandy Moore and Ali Larter, from the Emmy-nominated show "Heroes," were among the famous faces at Calvin's collectionin 2004. Will Ali show at this year's fashion show? And if so, will it mean that she'll wear Calvin to the Emmys? Or has she moved on to form a "relationship" with another designer?
WireImage

Paris Hilton looked more like a Barbie doll -- the original late-'50s fashion doll -- at the Kitson launch of her denim and sportswear clothing line Thursday night. Boy, nothing screams "classy young lady" louder than a gold sequin minidress. And when did gold sequin dresses get reclassified as sportswear?

I just hope this adorable little girl won't be permanently scarred by this mini-me photo op. Let's hope she's a little older before she's allowed to stay up late and watch her fashion role model in any strange videos.

To see what Paris' pal Nicole Richie is up to fashionwise, click here.

Photo credit: Jeff Vespa/WireImage

Emmy-winning "Desperate Housewives" actress Teri Hatcher is the new face of Badgley Mischka. In 1995, she was one of the first celebs to wear one of designers Mark Badgley and James Mischka's gowns to the Emmys, when she was starring in "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman."

Does that mean she'll wear one of their designs on the Emmy red carpet this time around? Oh, what do you think? Of course she will.  The real question is, will it be strapless?  In 2004, Teri did a B&W strapless Elie Saab, seen above. And in 2005, she again went strapless in a navy blue J. Mendel gown. I say why break with tradition?

Photo credit: WireImage

What would Hollywood's trend-setters look like if they didn't have top-notch personal stylists, hair gurus and makeup artists?

The celebrity universe as we know it today would look much, much different. Check out Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in the year 2002 B.S. (Before Stylists). Terrifying to think that this would be the look young women everywhere would emulate.

Photo credit: WireImage

Let this be a warning to any paparazzi who plan to pursue Angelina Jolie in a car: This chick knows how to protect her privacy.

Actually, this is just a stunt for her new sci-fi action movie, "Wanted," which is being filmed in Chicago.

Despite rumors of speed bumps in her relationship with Brad Pitt, the two reportedly were seen holding hands leaving a Chicago nightclub this week. They've also been taking their brood to see the city's sites, including a tour of the Field Museum to check out the dinosaurs.

Doesn't sound as if they've hit the skids. Yet.

Photo Credits: WireImage

Adorable "House" costarring couple Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer have called off their engagement. And among the first people to find out was People.

In an "exclusive" joint statement, the stars explained to the magazine that although they still like each other and are still close and will continue to work together, they've decided not to get married.

It took Jesse six months to ask Jennifer to marry him and eight months to get cold feet. Guess this means they won't be strolling the Emmy aisle, er, carpet together either.

Wonder what Jennifer will do with her dark ivory Elie Saab wedding gown. Can you say, "EBay"?

Photo credit: Jennifer and Jesse sure looked happy at the recent Fox upfronts. Looks can be deceiving.
Jim Spellman/WireImage

Has anyone out there ever been hospitalized for exhaustion? How about any of your friends or family? Neighbors? Co-workers? That's what I thought.

Apparently, being famous must be super tiring. That's has to be why only celebrities get hospitalized for "exhaustion." Which is ironic because stars have armies of effort-saving minions: assistants, cooks, drivers, dog walkers, maids, manicurists, facialists, eyebrow shapers, hairstylists, makeup artists, clothing stylists, managers, publicists, agents, accountants. So why do they get so tired? And why don't the tens of thousands of single women holding down two jobs and trying to raise three or four kids ever get felled by "exhaustion?"

David Beckham in ten years?

Photo Credits: Dolph Lundgren (who?) was spotted in Beverly Hills this week.
WireImage

In Hollywood, everybody still wants to direct.

Jennifer Aniston and Bryce Dallas Howard's first shorts for Glamour's Reel Moments are screening at the Palm Springs International Festival of Short Films this month. And Ben Affleck's directorial debut, "Gone, Baby, Gone," based on "Mystic River" author Dennis Lehane's novel about two Boston cops investigating a child's kidnapping, is just starting to screen to long-lead critics but already getting good '08 Awards Season buzz.  Okay, so his pal Kevin Smith is a lit-tle bit biased. But he's also pretty darned honest. You decide. Check out the trailer here.

And yes, you're right, film buffs. This isn't Ben's first stab at directing. According to IMDb.com, he also directed one called "I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three Picture Deal at Disney." But this is the first one to be seen in theatres larger than Ben's living room.  At any rate, given the source material and the amazing cast - Ed Harris, Amy Madigan, Morgan Freeman, Casey Affleck, and Katie Holmes unofficial stand-in Michelle Monaghan, it's definitely got Oscar nod potential.

Now the "I wanna direct" trend is hitting the music industry, thanks in part to Glamour's Reel Music program. Last year, Pink directed a music video for Pretty Boys, the winners of the mag's reader-based program. Now Grammy-winner Ciara just finished directing newcomer Paula Campbell's new video and it sounds like she liked it.

"I'm only 21 and I just directed my first video," the singer/dancer marveled last night at the Live Sets on Yahoo! stage on the Sony lot. "That's a big deal. It's like, so what else can you do? I want to keep doing more and more," Ciara said. "Doing a music video is really hard. But to be behind the camera? It's crazy, but it's fun."   

To see Ciara's first music video, click here.

Photo Credits: Casey Affleck stars in big brother Ben's "Gone, Baby, Gone," still courtesy of Miramax Films. Ciara and Paula dance up a storm at Sony Studios courtesy of Glamour.

Viggo Mortensen finally has a leading role that reveals his acting abilities and emotional range.

As well as a few other things....

In "Eastern Promises" (click here to see the trailer), Mortensen is chill-inspiring as a sexy-scary ruthless Russian mobster.

The film also gives fans a chance to see him in all his (faux) tattooed glory, not without appeal to those who worshiped him as Aragorn in "Lord of the Rings." 

Trust me, Viggo's "Promises" nude knife fight scene in a steam bath is one of the most brutal - and most vulnerable - scenes in screen history.   

This will actually permanently erase the one in "Borat" from your memory banks. Thank goodness.

Photo Credits: Viggo with his Golden Boot Award received last night for contributions to the Western film genre. Is this be a warm-up for more awards to come for his stunning performance in "Eastern Promises"?
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Pregnancy is Mother Nature's great equalizer, isn't it?

The former Incredible Shrinking Celebrity Nicole Richie has already begun to inch her way back to her pre- "I do not have an eating disorder" day proportions. And it's only gonna get better, folks. Can you say "scales of justice?"

Can a maternity clothing line be far behind? Why, I'll bet it's already in the works.

Photo Credits: Nicole shows off her gradually expanding waistline in New York.
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Brad and Angelina aren't the only ones who've been really busy with various family and film projects.

Jennifer Aniston's life is also taking a new direction. Literally. Her short film, "Room 10," will be part of the 13th Annual International Festival of Short Films and Short Market (ShortFest, for short) taking place from Aug 23-29.

Aniston's film -  starring Robin Wright Penn and Kris Kristofferson - screens on August 26. Penn plays an emergency room nurse having marital problems and Kristoferson is a man holding vigil at his terminally ill wife's bedside in this film about "the true meaning of love and commitment," sez the press release. Yeah, take that, Brad!

The film premiered in October 2006 at the Directors Guild of America, where Kristofferson told AP: "What I really like about (Aniston) is that she knows what she wants. And she's not afraid to tell an old guy like me what to do and how to do it."

Also on Aug 26, Palm Springs International Film Festival Rising Star recipient Bryce Dallas Howard will make her directorial debut with "Orchids," starring Alfred Molina and Katherine Waterson (Sam Waterson's daughter) in a moving story about a young photographer who rescues a grieving widower from self-imposed imprisonment in his mansion.  Both Aniston and Howard's shorts were based on scripts that won Glamour's Reel Moments competition and were written by the magazine's readers.

Other star-studded short subjects at the fest will include: James Gandolfini, Louis Gossett, Jr., Joe Mantegna and Steven R. McQueen (Steve McQueen's son) in "Club Soda;" Patrick Stewart and Joanna Lumley in "The Audition;" Hugo Weaving narrating "The Girl Who Swallowed Bees;" Ron Livingston in "Life Happens;" Margaret Cho in "Love is Love;" Ron Silver and JoBeth Williams in "Call it Fiction;" Wendie Malick in "Waiting For Yvette;" Richard E. Grant in "Always Crashing in the Same Car."

For more info on the fest and the films, click here.

Photo Credits: Brad and Angie take the brood to a museum in Chicago this weekend. Jennifer Aniston is still living the single life, seen here at an Outfest screening of "Love and Other Disasters." But is her career taking a new direction?
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In a word, yes. But not her skin, silly. Her bright green Stella McCartney silk mini-dress.

Speaking from the podium at Thursday's annual Hollywood Foreign Press Association Financial Grants luncheon at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and graciously accepting a big fat HPFA check on behalf of the Film Foundation   Inc., Charlize Theron scolded the audience, "Don't look at my dress! It's really wrinkled!"

Wrinkled or not, Jamie Foxx really liked her very short dress. I mean, he really, really liked it. And when he got up onstage, he even commented on "that dress," eliciting groans from an embarrassed Charlize.

For more juice on the HFPA luncheon, like what hot Latin couple is destined to be the new millennium's Sonny and Cher and to find out which Oscar-winning actor grabbed Josh Brolin's buttocks, check out the Red Carpet Rewind Gallery on The Envelope tomorrow. That's Friday. Trust me, you don't wanna miss this. 
Photo Credits: John Shearer/WireImage

Michelle Pfeiffer celebrated her much-deserved star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today with her family. Hubby David E. Kelley was there, as was their son, Jack Henry, who was born in 1994. And that tall, gorgeous babe in red? That's their daughter, Claudia Rose, born in 1993. Wow. Can you say "modeling career"?

Photo Credits: WireImage

For all of you who believe what you read about Paris Hilton buying litters of hamster-sized puppies, hanging out reading magazines in Malibu and staring at her reflection in the sliding glass door for the past few weeks....