For those of you who missed watching the much ballyhooed "Victoria Beckham: Coming to America" special on NBC last night, here's all you need to know:

Victoria's got her branding catchphrase and it's "Major!"

Major is her adjective (she pronounces it "Majah") used to describe anything impressive, amazing, wild or just over-the-top; something might have once been described as "hot," as in Paris Hilton's now passe catchphrase "That's hot."

Other than picking up that useful piece of slang, the special was nothing more than the contrived and cartoony Reality TV love child of "Newlyweds: Jessica and Nick" and and Paris and Nicole's "The Simple Life."

The show featured Victoria hiring a suitably dumpy, dull-witted assistant, hanging out with her makeup artist and hairdresser pals (so Jessica Simpson) shopping for a posh pad, getting her driver's license (and asking for a photo do-over), using a blow-up doll dressed like her to foil the paparazzi, meeting the neighbors - a scary coven of hideously "done" Beverly HIlls socialites who actually made Victoria look quite normal.

She also confronted notorious celeb blogger Perez Hilton about calling her an "alien," refused to smile, be seen eating anything or wear flats. So she clumsily tossed out the first pitch at a Mets/Dodgers game wearing high wedged platform sneakers.

Definitely not Tivo-worthy, even if you've got the big 80 gig HiDef recorder.

Photo Credits: FilmMagic and WireImage