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Here's good news for inmates everywhere. Crying will get you out of jail.
Just ask Paris Hilton. According to TMZ, Hilton was released from jail today after serving only three - count 'em - three days in the clink. The hotel heiress/socialite had reportedly been crying constantly and unable to sleep. As of yesterday, her lawyer and a shrink had been her only reported visitors.
No official confirmation yet but the site reports that the deal was sealed yesterday and Paris, who had originally been sentenced to serve 45 days, which were then hacked down to 23, got out of jail early this morning. And just in time! One more day and her spray tan would have faded, her manicure might have chipped, her extensions might get tangled or she could have broken her teeth on the bars, which Sarah Silverman was concerned about on Sunday night's MTV Movie Awards.
Thank God the authorities allowed this fragile flower to go home to her 100% Egyptian cotton sheets. Justice has been served, the media had a field day and I know Paris has learned an important lesson from this experience, which is "I really am better than everyone else and I do deserve special treatment."
And crying works! Who knew?
UPDATE: Paris has been reassigned to "Home Arrest" for 40 days. Yeah, that'll work. Sound more like "House Party" to me. And she'll probably make ankle bracelets a must-have fashion trend.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
!!! ha ha ha ha!!! didn't figure the little skank would serve her whole sentance! She prolly did the sherrif... a "favor" lol
Posted by: heatherness | June 07, 2007 at 06:42 PM
Aww poor Paris.. what's the matter, no phone, no pillow, 200 thread count sheets verses your 1000 plus, no maid service at your beckon call.. HOW PATHETIC.. This is a disgraise to the judicial system.. So she was crying, so be it.. was she kicking her feet too like a spoiled little baby.. I'll bet money on it. She probably had a rash on her skin due to stress, which HELLO, most of us get and it goes away Paris..Oh wait, I forgot, you're perfect, you don't get that and no make-up to cover it up.. Throw her ass in the Jail Mental/Medical facility if shes psychologically messed up.
SO HELP ME GOD, if PHIL SPECTOR gets off all hell will break loose.. Please, I beg you all that have power of this, don't let him out and put that little Boney A.. Fake Blonde back in jail just like a normal citizen of the USA would have too! This is so wrong..
Posted by: woz | June 07, 2007 at 06:15 PM
I think the sheriff oughta be locked up. This is a clear violation of justice.
Posted by: Karen Katz | June 07, 2007 at 03:59 PM
Ugh. No one cares about drunk driving anymore?
Posted by: LA8973 | June 07, 2007 at 02:42 PM
Boy, she must have been REALLY good to the Sheriff to pull this one off! Best acting in her career, and we won't get to see it! Sadly, the ones that will really suffer are the police officers who may think twice before even bothering with celebrity DUIs in the future (not a celebrity? Enjoy your jail time, friend!) This spoiled brat - ordering CUPCAKES of all things within hours of her release - will party hardy and stub her nose at the world from the enclave of her multimillion dollar "cell" for the next 40 days. Not sure why this bothers me as much as it does, but this is a travesty of untold proportion, and I hope everyone responsibile spends the rest of their career trying to justify this ridiculous action. Shame, shame, shame.
Posted by: Rick in Hollywood | June 07, 2007 at 02:28 PM
I think that anyone convicted of a traffic crime in Los Angeles should request to serve their time at Paris' place of residence. Cry, claim medical infirmity, sport a convenient rash or something and transfer to Paris-site's abode. Seems fair to me. What a freakin' loser. I'm sure she and her equally rich friends are getting a big kick out of this.
What's wrong with the "law" in Los Angeles? And here's a dumb question, isn't there supposed to be equal justice for all?
Posted by: chocolatechipface | June 07, 2007 at 12:52 PM
If that's the case, then I'm going to dye my hair blonde, be more spoiled and kiss up to authorities. It's simply not fair.
Posted by: Mitchelle Garcia | June 07, 2007 at 12:30 PM
Paris, Paris, Paris, - when are you going to realize that people think of you as nothing but a JOKE! You have no claim to fame, you have no talent - all you have is a rich father to get you out of all the stupid things you do. You are a sick roll model for our youth and I believe that you deserved what Sarah Silverman said about you at the MTV Awards (and evidently so did the entire audience).
Posted by: cougar93r | June 07, 2007 at 11:58 AM
As I recall, Jarvis Cocker, the lead singer of the British pop band PULP spent more time in jail for his crime of getting up on stage during the 1996 Brit Awards and mocking (and mooning) Michael Jackson during a truly dreadful performance.
Posted by: Justin in Toronto | June 07, 2007 at 11:40 AM
According to TMZ 5 days is the normal punishment for that particular crime. So she just cried and made her face all puffy but got out after only 3 days !! Bet there'll be 40 days of Hilton house parties !
Posted by: nickica | June 07, 2007 at 11:19 AM
Dumb little #$%&*! She deserves Abu Ghraib. Why? Because she thinks she is better than everyone else. I'm sure she would vote republican
Posted by: Jonny law | June 07, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Paris who?
Posted by: Jeet Das | June 07, 2007 at 11:09 AM
Frankly, I think its rude that you have nothing better to do then make rude comments about Paris Hilton. Sure she isn't the brightest thing on two legs but that doesn't give you any authority to talk trash about her or other people and furthermore, I think the LA Times is dimwitted for letting you even make comments and suggestions like, "One more day and her spray tan would have faded...".These are the things you say in high school and I think you need to grow up. On another note, due to the fact that you can sit there and type up rude comments and BS like this proves you have no common courtesy to just report the "news" and not your own personal opinions and the fact that the LA Times lets you write these things I will be sure NEVER to purchase another LA Times paper EVER AGAIN!
Posted by: CaliforniaGrrl | June 07, 2007 at 11:03 AM
I think people should focus on their own problems before judging others. All this attacking on someone they don't even know personally. It is sad really.
Posted by: Amanda | June 07, 2007 at 10:44 AM
Aw come on people leave her alone. At least she spent some time in jail. She is no different than any other high profile celeb. If I were the sentencing judge I would be furious. The law system we live under is a big JOKE.
Celebs charged with murder and child molesting walk free. And they say our law system is fair.
Posted by: Terry Linnell | June 07, 2007 at 10:34 AM
In all fairness, Tracy Morgan was ankled for detection of alcohol. I think the ankle bracelet and house arrest is fair for a non-violent offense; however, remember this is her second offense! Now, having said that, just give me a Paris-free 40 days. No news about Paris for 40 days, and the world will be a lot saner.
Posted by: Chicago48 | June 07, 2007 at 10:32 AM
In all fairness, Tracy Morgan was ankled for detection of alcohol. I think the ankle bracelet and house arrest is fair for a non-violent offense; however, remember this is her second offense! Now, having said that, just give me a Paris-free 40 days. No news about Paris for 40 days, and the world will be a lot saner.
Posted by: Chicago48 | June 07, 2007 at 10:31 AM
I dont agree with the special treatment, but i dont think anyone should do jail time for non-violent offences like hers. Wife beaters go free, child molestors go free, why cnat we concentrate on them?
Posted by: lawzulu | June 07, 2007 at 10:15 AM
Hey, now, be nice. It wasn't just that she was crying. She was also losing sleep.
Posted by: JakeB | June 07, 2007 at 10:01 AM
What a joke! Shame on those who got played by this obvious manipulation. She won't eat...give her an IV. She won't sleep...give her Ambien. But to let her out...it's insane. Poor, poor, pitiful Paris. She pounds her fists like the spoiled child that she is and the "authorities" give in. It's a disgrace. It's unjust to those who ARE taking responsibility for their actions. It's idiotic. And it's a complete joke. I think the "Free Paris" movement will be replaced by the "Boo Paris" juggernaut.
Posted by: Andrew | June 07, 2007 at 09:48 AM
The little snoot nose brat was treated special as all the rich are in our lovely country. The rest of us actually have to pay a real price when we snub our nose at the law. She cries and is sent home. What a joke. All of you who defend her are just pitiful. She committed several crimes that you and I would be put in jail for months for, and she is off with barely a hand slap. We all new she was weak and unable to survive without her people and privilege.
Posted by: Kirk | June 07, 2007 at 09:10 AM
Questions I want answered by anyone:
1) How can I become a celebrity? I want that gig where you just show up and get paid thousands of dollars just for being in the room. Email me at Chicago_48 @ dontreg.com. Please! I want to be a famous no-talent celebrity.
2) Did they lock up her blackberry?
3) How did she become so famous and why does she suck the air out of entertainment news?
Comment: The world is safer and paris-free (news wise) for another 40 days.
Posted by: Chicago48 | June 07, 2007 at 08:48 AM
I can't believe this has happened! Paris is discharged from prison because of psychological problems and crying. What about the other thousands of women who remain in jail, who cry every night because of serious issues they are facing, such as losing their children, or being in jail for having retaliated against an abusive partner. Also, there are thousands of women in jail who have psychological issues and substance abuse issues but they are not given a get out of jail free card. No, they are forced to detox incarcerated or treated in a prison mental health facility (which is usually sub-par). This insane action of releasing Paris is a smack in the face to Justice and to the millions of every-day people who are reminded, yet again, that if you are rich, white (and preferably blond) there are a different set of rules for you. What a disgrace!
Posted by: outraged Lawyer | June 07, 2007 at 08:21 AM