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RSS FeedKristanna Loken's bloody mess
Every actress worth her box office salt has a super heroine alter-ego these days. Charlize Theron has her "Aeon Flux" assassin. Angelina Jolie does Lara Croft in the "Tomb Raider" series. Kate Beckinsale layers on the latex as Selene from “Underworld.” Even Jennifer Garner has found her inner warrior in "Elektra."
Now Kristanna Loken has Rayne.
Loken — last seen in “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” as the totally nude T-X who gave Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger a run for his ball bearings — hit the red carpet at Graumann's Chinese Theatre last night wearing a white chiffon gown for the premiere of “BloodRayne.”
Loken's new fantasy film is based on a video game, always a good sign, about the daughter of the world's most powerful vampire, who seeks revenge on dad for having the bad manners to kill her human mommy. The catch is that Rayne is also a vamp, but she turns her perky nose up at human blood and only feeds on other vampires.
“The film was shot in Romania,” explained the statuesque blonde. “It's a post-Communist country and it's like a teenager, still figuring what it wants to be when it grows up. But the castles are absolutely amazing. And I think shooting there really helped the look and feel of the film.”
Not enough. Some in the audience wondered how on earth the filmmakers snagged Oscar-winning British actor Ben Kingsley for the role of, yes, you guessed correctly, Daddy Vampire. Did he just have a free day? And whose idea was the eyeliner, lipstick and that bad plastic hairpiece?
The film was produced and directed by Uwe Boll and distributed by Romar Entertainment. Boll, taking the stage before the film began, ranted about all the greedy thieves in Hollywood, always a great way to endear yourself to the L.A. film industry. He dragged his stars — including Loken, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane and Udo Kier — onstage but didn't let them speak because, “I hate it when actors talk."
He then made a fevered pitch for Romar as the only truly independent film studio that makes and distributes their own films very cheaply, um, inexpensively.
That much was obvious from the evening's cost-cutting measures such as:
Photo: Kristanna Loken looks like angel at the premiere of hew new film, BloodRayne, based on a video game about vampires.
(Steve Granitz / WireImage)
No parking validations for the guests. Even the will-call desk staff had to pay $10 to park their own cars for the night. No free premiere popcorn or sodas at the movie. Only a few plates of food were passed around the after-party, held in a small room within the nearby Hollywood Roosevelt.
But the black-clad, leather-loving crowd of die-hard fantasy film fans seemed thrilled to be offered small thin glass vials containing a watery red liquid. Blood? “It's a kamikaze,” explained the bartender. Of course it is.
Get ready for another round. Before the “BloodRayne” premiere began, Romar screened a trailer for their next film, ”In the Name of the King,” based on a dungeon siege video game.
“King” also stars Loken, along with Jason Statham, John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Claire Forlani, Leelee Sobieski and Burt Reynolds as the king. At least Reynolds looks like he got to wear his own hairpiece. Not that that helps matters.
“King” is due out in November. Mark your calendars. Then run for your lives.
A word of warning to every actress and actor out there. If you ever, and I do mean EVER hear the two words "Uwe Boll", run, do not hesitate, do not look back, do not stop to call your agent, do not pick up treasured possessions, turn on the spot and RUN. He is the worst director since Ed Wood.
That said, with full knowledge of what I was doing, I saw this truly dire movie because even though I knew I was going to be scared for live by the experience of sitting through another god-awful Ewe Boll production, so intense are my fantasies about becoming Kristanna Loken's love slave...
Posted by: Natalija Hansova | March 01, 2007 at 10:54 AM